Five Simple Things (June 12)

 Hello.

Things are looking up here at our house. I was able to stand and help rinse the dishes without feeling pain too bad. Also, was able to ride to the store and sit for about an hour without getting out of breath. I didn't feel like walking around the store, but at least it's small accomplishments like that to just being able to sit and not feel horrible pain. I was able to sit and take a bath on my own, too. Still need help getting out, but overall I am getting better. It's been three months, so things are looking better every day now. My stitches come out soon, too, so that's all a big plus for me. Jeff informed me that the furloughed employees at his company were ultimately laid off. Which, is pretty bad given the situation with everything right now. I am just glad that he wasn't one of those people, but having his hours cut will definitely cut into our plans. It's okay, though, we can get through this. The statement of, "we're in this together" needs to stop. There are people literally going without food at night, while the people posting that online, or saying it, are eating a full-course meals. If you can give some of your time and money to help these people out, great, but as of right now, a lot of people can't even spare a dime. Life right now is literally survival of the fittest and will continue to be survival of the fittest until the day we die. We can do what we can, but overall, there is no, "in this together" when it comes to the world right now. The selfishness is growing and the only thing we can do is look after our own people. Here are five things this week.

1. This Tulip.

Excited to see the tulips blooming right now and hanging on until I could enjoy them. This one was a gift and I had no idea it would look like this, but I like it, a lot. I like it for the fact that it is not like the others and that makes me smile.

2. This Moment.

Skylar and I picked some of the yard daises and placed them on my desk in the classroom/office area and Eleven was very curious of them. She is such a wonderful cat. 

3. This Delivery. 

Due to the pandemic we've been trying to give more of our patronage to the local businesses here in our city. We chose to have a pizza delivered this week from Conversions Brewing and the delivery driver was amazing! We asked her if we could take a picture of the delivery limo and she was all about it. I mean...how is this not cool on every level?

4. These Hats.

My brother sent Skylar some period war hats and he had to get into character with them. The candy cigarettes really made the German hats come to life for the men that served during that time. Skylar had quite a collection of period clothing, thanks to his gifts from my brother. If you remember, our 2017 Christmas cards were also in period clothing, as well as period location. We love anything vintage and I love anything history-horror history mostly, so it's cool that we can share that passion with my brother.

5. These Two.

Happy duck loves Hardy and she loves hanging around him. Funny enough, anytime Hardy goes to the fence to bark at people getting too close to our property Happy duck is right there with him quacking at them, too. 

Positive affirmations this week: "What are some ways to practice mindfulness with family, especially during the holidays?"

Well, I like to use the word "relatives" over "family." Family to me involves those that support, love, and respect you unconditionally and most people, for me, that fall under the "relative" umbrella don't do that. So, in order to practice and maintain my own peace of mind and mindfulness with relatives, and even more so around the holidays are these five points. You can add, or take away, whichever ones suit your own situation, but these work for me.

*1. Don't engage in relative's drama: Just don't add your opinion, or insight, even if asked. Shrug your shoulders and excuse yourself. If you have to leave, do it. You aren't trapped there. If you are younger and can't escape, excuse yourself to a room where you can be alone, or with others that aren't engaging in the chaos. 

*2. Create some alone time: This applies to the statement before, as well. If it's getting to be too much, find a place you can be alone, or leave. Again, you aren't trapped there and creating boundaries for yourself is important. I have left relative's houses and gatherings many times. I suffer from social anxiety and leaving has never once made me feel guilty. I've been guilt-tripped for leaving, but honestly, when that happens it pushes me further away. Plus, being guilt-tripped is their issues, not mine. 

*3. Lean on the ones that love you: Be sure to talk to those in your life that understand and won't make you feel worse. Keeping that "family/tribe" close is always a plus. Voice your concerns and listen to them, as well. They are probably looking for the same, so support them, too.

*4. Never engage in conversations of race, sexual preference, politics, religion, and even what you or others identify as: Those are not the topics to be bringing up, or engaging in, during a relative's gathering. Those topics are sensitive, and being that there's already tension there with some, it could end up making your mental health worse, especially from being belittled and degraded from your own free choices. Abuse is never okay, so don't allow relatives, or others, to abuse your life choices.

*5. And lastly, just staying quiet: Sometimes the best response is no response, at all. I was at a relative's get together several years ago and at that time we had switched land line phone numbers due to a lot of random late night calls. Our phone company had suggested changing numbers to try and prevent this from happening. Oddly enough, we had that number for quite awhile and they just started coming in one night and lasted about three months before we had enough of it. A relative had asked why we changed our phone number and I didn't feel like explaining, but she pushed for me to explain. She said, "no, just tell me." So, I figured it would be less of a conflict with her if I just told her the reason. I began to tell her that for some reason we were now getting calls late at night, all hours of the early morning and we were tired of taking the phone off the hook so much. As I was telling her that the phone company suggested we change numbers, I could see she was not listening to what I was saying. I decided to test that theory and throw in some random things. I said, "Yeah, the phone exploded and my hair caught on fire, it was crazy." She nodded as she was looking in another direction at someone else, so I said nothing more and walked away. I gathered up Skylar and we walked home. It's not only rude to persist an answer from someone, but it's extremely rude to not listen to their answer to your question. You have the right to stand up for yourself and not give a response. If the person keeps persisting, leave. You are under no obligation to keep allowing others to disrespect your boundaries. 

Have a nice weekend.